How to choose a wedding photographer you feel comfortable with

When you look for a wedding photographer, begin with the photographs. Notice which images make you stop. Are you drawn to quiet moments, bold color, black and white, or a sense of movement? Do you feel something about people you have never met?

Then have a conversation with the person behind that work.

Your photographer will be close to you during a day full of anticipation, emotion and people you love. Loving the portfolio matters. Feeling comfortable with the photographer matters, too.

Look for more than a beautiful portrait

A striking photograph of a couple is a good beginning. Look at the moments around it as well: a parent watching the ceremony, friends laughing together, the feeling in a room after a toast.

In my book, I encourage couples to look for a storyteller. Can you feel part of a moment you weren't there to witness? Do the photographs make you curious about the people in them?

Ask to see a complete wedding gallery. It gives you a way to consider how the photographer handles the whole day, including changing light, family groups and the reception. You are choosing someone to tell a story, not simply to make one impressive photograph.

Ask yourself whether you enjoy their company

Once you have narrowed your choices, arrange a conversation in person or by video. Talk about your plans, but notice the conversation itself. Do they listen? Do their explanations make sense? Can you ask a question without feeling uncomfortable?

I have long suggested a simple question: if this person weren't photographing your wedding, would you enjoy having them there as a guest?

You don't need to become best friends. You do need to feel that you can be yourselves around them. That comfort gives the photographs room to become more personal.

Talk about experience in real situations

Wedding experience involves much more than knowing a camera. It includes anticipating moments, gathering people kindly and working when the weather or schedule changes.

Ask how the photographer approaches those situations. If someone you know has offered to photograph your wedding, have the same conversation. Being a friend and being prepared to photograph a wedding are different responsibilities.

A useful starting point is: “How do you help couples who feel awkward in front of the camera?” Listen for an approach that feels right for you.

Share what makes your wedding yours

Tell your photographer about your relationship, important people and traditions. If you share inspiration photographs, explain what you love about them—the feeling, the light or the closeness between people. That gives your photographer something more useful than a request to reproduce another couple's day.

Before you book, make sure you understand who will photograph the wedding, the coverage and what you will receive afterward. Then keep getting to know each other. An engagement session can be a comfortable place to start.

Choose photographs you love and a person you trust. You should be able to spend your wedding living the moments, knowing someone is paying attention.