Make room for the people who matter

When you tell your photographer what matters to you, talk about the people as well as the plans.

A room full of guests contains relationships your photographer cannot know simply by looking. The friend who traveled a long way. The grandmother whose laugh you would recognize anywhere. The person who has been beside you since childhood.

Tell those stories before the wedding. They help us notice what might otherwise pass without explanation.

Introduce the people behind the names

A family portrait list helps us organize groups. A conversation helps us understand why those people matter.

Tell your photographer about a close relationship, a reunion or someone you particularly want represented. Point out an important guest when you have the chance, or ask a trusted person to make the introduction.

The same applies to objects and traditions. A ring can be beautiful on its own; knowing that it belonged to your grandmother changes what it means within your wedding story.

Think beyond a photograph looking at the camera

I want couples to have beautiful portraits with their grandparents. I also want photographs that feel unmistakably like those grandparents: a familiar expression, a laugh, the way they look at someone they love.

My own grandparents mattered deeply to me. That is part of why I pay attention to these moments at weddings.

Ask for both kinds of photographs. The portrait records you together. The candid may bring back a personality in a way a posed picture cannot.

A first look can be with someone else you love

A private moment before the ceremony doesn't have to be reserved for the two people getting married. In the book, I describe first looks involving parents and grandparents, too.

If you want a moment with your dad, your mother, a sibling or someone else close to you, mention it while we are planning. Give it a little time and a place where it can happen comfortably.

You don't need to manufacture a reaction. Create the opportunity to be together and let the people involved make the moment their own.

Remember the quieter guests

Not everyone dances. Not everyone puts themselves in the center of the room. A wedding collection should have room for the people enjoying the celebration from its edges, too.

I describe several approaches in my book: candid expressions during cocktail hour, small groups of friends, or a quick photograph of a couple seated together before the meal arrives. These are opportunities to include people who might otherwise appear only in the distance.

Discuss what coverage is realistic. No photographer can promise every guest in every kind of photograph, but knowing your priorities helps us direct our attention.

Leave room for being together

Make time to speak with the people you invited. Sit with someone. Share a story. Take the hug instead of immediately moving on.

You don't have to turn each encounter into a photograph. Enjoy it. The more space there is for real connection, the more there is for your photographer to see.